When I was a Missing Ninja, before the Kage pardoned me, any run-in with a Leaf would result in my near death. However, Sands seemed at peace and had no interest in attacking me.
This doesn't seem like a good route to go, many people would be openly willing to moderate the chat room, and I believe it should remain, especially if as you say, it has been around since 2013; it's sort've a relic of Nin. Get more moderators for the chatbox
It's 1000 roughly. The cap is typically 60 because 60 is what most games provide the best experience at, and you'll experience nothing better if higher.
I just don't find I notice it too much (personal opinion) until the 200-250 range. I frequent the 150'ish range on some games and unless if it's something like League of Legends, I've not noticed much of a delay if in the 120+ range. Different experiences for different people though, no doubt.
With where the server is being hosted, your connection in Denmark shouldn't be too different than mine will be, with me getting 30-50, I expect yours to be around 60-90, which isn't too bad, and you'll still maintain smooth game play.